Sunday, September 12, 2010

REALationships 101: From a Man's Perspective

I’m a woman…and I know nothing about what men think. But-- I asked a few males a few questions for a little insight into the male brain for your reading pleasure…comments are always appreciated!

1. What makes a woman "the one"/ what do men want?

“Men want Claire Huxtable…a great wife, a great mother, beautiful, intelligent, a strong woman, witty, sweet, loving, caring–[Claire Huxtable] is everything you want in a woman. She got in Cliff's ass when he needed it–she makes him eat healthy–not only was she a lawyer all day, but she came home and COOKED. Women don’t understand that. She makes a man feel like a man–she never tried to outshine her man, and she never tried call him out– she was on his side. She had a say so in everything about the household but she let him make the decisions. You gotta let a man be a man. She even had good credit–and she was a FREAK too. That’s all men want–Claire Huxtable.”

2. Is it true that men don't want to get married?

“About men not wanting to get married–the honest answer is a lot of men aren’t ready to commit and aren’t ready to get married. And on the flip side of that most women aren’t ready to get married–whether they think they are or not. It takes TIME and a tremendous amount of work to have a successful relationship."

“I think a lot of women have wedding bells in their heads and want the glitz and glamour of the wedding, the ring and the dress. They are ready to talk about flowers and colors, but aren’t ready to talk about the serious issues that will come up in a relationship (i.e. finances, kids, family support, values, religion).”

“Marriage is the biggest decision you will make in your life–and picking the wrong person can ruin a person’s life–and every man has seen it first hand–whether its a guy at work going through a bad divorce getting his kids taken from him–or seeing what happens to your parents in a nasty divorce first hand.”

“All the woman has to do is wait–but we (men) have to go hunt and find the perfect person. Its a very complicated decision, and a very calculated decision–you don’t make this decision off of fluff like ‘she’s fine’–you make it more on ‘we have a great time hanging out–does my family like her do my friends like her, how does she manage her money? does she want the same amount of kids?’ These are questions that come up over time–that aren’t on the first, or second date. It comes after you have met their family, friends, and extended family.”

“The consequences of choosing the wrong wife are so strong that it makes you apprehensive about committing. There should be no pressure–if he is not ready–he is not ready. And when he is ready–he will let you know.”

3. Would you like to add anything else?

“One last thing–women should not let a man string them along–stand your ground, and if he is not going the places you want to go to (granted it takes time) then let him know and/or leave. And like my aunt says– 'why would he buy the cow if he gets the milk for free.’ STOP PLAYING HOUSE (living together/buying houses together but not committing to each other) and getting mad that you aren't married!"

Hope this helps. Post more questions that you want answers to in the comments!




  1. You know Erin, I hate reading about men's perspectives on relationships because it usually only confuses me more. I don't get them at all, really, but I can definitely appreciate this advice. Especially number two, which is SO true! I'm not sure Claire Huxtable was a freak, maybe ole boy was imagining that for point well taken. Thanks whoever you are.

  2. Claire Huxtable...! As soon as I read it, it made me want to YELL at the screen--"BUT SHE'S NOT REAL! DON'T YOU WANT A REAL WOMAN?" That's like me saying I want to marry someone like Rhett Butler--it's not about to happen. I'm not saying settle--NEVER do that. But get REAL! I'm wondering if he's found his Claire Huxtable or if he'll be watching re-runs the rest of his life saying 'if only I'd found her before he did!'


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